Fine.

 
‘Everything is going to be fine.” Have you though how many times you ‘ve heard this sentence already? How many times someone looked you in the eyes, took your hand and said in milky voice these words?

And the very first time you heard it , I bet you thought, yes everything will be JUST fine, someone would come and fix everything and we will be happy, maybe some wizard like Merlyn or Gandalf would do it. You were so naive and so full of hope because you believed it with all your heart and soul.

But then, what happened after that? Oh, yes, the crushing waves of reality were storming towards you and you were left on your own, in the sea, no, it is in the ocean and it seems so infinite and it is so frustrating because this is nor the F***ing Titanic’s movie and you are not Kate Winslet, you would not take a nomination for the best performance in life-risking situation. You are more like a goofy version of Bridget Jones but in more pitiful condition.

That’s right, you are a grown-up woman now and there is nobody to hold your hand or to feel pity for you and say to you that “everything will be fine” after every existential crisis, because you have to say it on your own. You are probably surrounded by a group of friends, like me, who most of them have been in long term relationship and they nag you with question whether you will find someone or not, but deep down you know that they would give up everything to be like you at the end of the day, fierce and independent and just “perfectly fine”.

When you have a bad day? Everything is fine. Your colleague asks you whether you are okay, you are fine. You have been wrapped in nostalgic memories about the days when you were 18 and everything was so easy, but you are fine. Another lonely night, a bunch of terrible dates, no time to read for real or connect, no time for being you just fitting into one social role into another, but it’s FINE. The days turn into weeks and then into months and you don’t realize how the time flies and you need to speed up a bit to catch up with what you need to catch before it’s too late.

But, I have good news for you, everyone else is just as fine as you are . Everything is a walking mess but we cover it up with being  “FINE” because it’s  easier not because it is real. We like to pretend, we like to be fine.

Good night.

 

 

 

 

One thought on “Fine.

  1. I feel that ‘fine’ is a passive aggressive term for, go away or I’m just going to say what you want to hear. It’s disconcerting. I don’t think I’ll be using the phrase, “it’s all going to be fine” ever again. Thanks, you’ve made me think more about how we use everyday language 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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