We are social creatures, we can’t escape from it, we need others to thrive and the others need us. And that’s what makes us happy and we need to share it with the others around us.
However, there are times when we start listening to what the others think of us, we are told that we are that and that, in return, we tell them the same thing. It is an open process and it resembles a cycle. We start to create our own image or to influence it with the stories which the others told about us. It starts with our family, we are told that when we were little we used to talk with every stranger on the street, we are told that we didn’t like sleeping in the afternoon and that we used to not share toys with the other children in the nursery.
But more the more important part comes later when we surround ourselves with friends and they start to be part of our universe. In part, we try to imitate them to some extent and they respond in kind, it is so much like creating a painting and bits by bits, part by part we can see the whole canvas clearly. Suddenly, we start to give them a bit more space to paint on our canvas, we start listening to them more often, sometimes we rather listen to them rather to ourselves.
Sometimes, we find a wonderful bunch of people who support us no matter what, who root for us no matter what and who would find a way to make us feel appreciated no matter what.
Because even if you stumble in your life you need someone to take your hand and walk with you in the woods because it can be dangerous and you can easily get lost. Because sometimes life is hard and you just don’t know what to do and how to make things work, and boy the things can get wrong easily, you need someone who is going to be there for you and just to tell you that everything will be fine.
I am glad that I ‘ve now a few people, who I can count on my fingers, but they are always there for me, I know that from experience, and I am grateful for it.
I have been on the other side , too. When things were not a bed of roses, to put it mildly, and I have a tiny beacon of hope, and that hope was my last resort of comfort and I was telling myself that everything will be fine even though it was not fine at all. And I had these friends who told me that I will not succeed in what I wanted to achieve, that I would fail and I was even told that I am not good enough to do it. And believe, if someone has ever told you this, you know how easy these words can shake your world and your perception of self-worth and what you can achieve. You start questioning yourself in every possible way, am I living in a bubble and this is only my fantasy, I need to get out from these castle in the sky and touch the ground?
But you know what, don’t listen to them? (Or tell them to go to hell!) Because in the end, it is YOU who can decide what you or can’t do! Good riddance!
You can’t afford to waste your time, effort, and sympathy for them. It’s not about holding grudges or anything, you just can’t trust anymore. It is not about the bitterness between you and them, but about the fact that you don’t know how to believe them again.
You need to find the people who would be there for you when it is hard and when it is easy, when life gets busy and when we don’t have a time to meet (because the right people would find a way), sometimes a call can do, it means they care and they would be happy to hear you even if you are miles away. They still support you and are there for you no matter what.
Find these people and love them for their worth, because they are priceless!